On entertainment

I was thinking about the comment that Kristine made to one of my posts that a lot of her family's entertainment involves food, a fact that was frustrating her weight loss efforts. It seems in this country that we aren't able to meet socially unless it's around food and after much thought on the issue I suspect that this is in part a result of the influence of television in our lives. In addition to the relentless barrage of commercials tempting us with a never-ending variety of unhealthy foods, television leaves us with a mindless numbing of creativity. We lose the art of conversation as a form of entertainment (at least conversation that involves more than a discussion about who was voted off the island). Ahhh yes, this is my soapbox. Four years ago when my doctor diagnosed my heart condition and informed me that I needed to lose a substantial amount of weight and make some lifestyle changes, we did so on a grand scale. We moved to the city proper of St. Louis and bought a condo, in a place where we can walk to everything. We walk to the movies, to the park, to play pool, to the museum, to the library, to the galleries, and just to walk while having conversation. Soon after moving here we decided we were too busy doing these other things to need our television and discontinued the service. A very surprising thing happened. We found we didn't need the entertainment of television. We found that life iteself was entertainment enough. We had time to read again and to talk about what we'd read. We had time on our walks to meet neighbors. We had time to go back to school (and even do homework...) Soon food was not the center of most of our entertainment. Don't get me wrong - there is nothing wrong with meeting socially over food. Not only is there nothing wrong with it, it's also a desirable and necessary part of human interaction. Some times. If you're strugging to gain control of your weight, though, it's best to find another form of entertainment. Meet for a board game night (and if you must have snacks then have a veggie tray). Go hiking with a friend. Volunteer. Turn off the TV.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Do one thing each day that scares you." Turning off the TV was a little scary. Could I live life without its constant background presence? Without the comfort noise when I was alone? Did I really like myself well enough to spend that much time with just - - me???

And that, my friends, is the crux of the matter. We hide behind the television because it's easy. We don't have to think. We don't have to deal. Just watch. Just be entertained. In the same way we hide behind food. It's easy. We don't have to work at conversation. If we're too busy eating we don't have to develop relationships. We don't have to risk exposing ourselves to hurt.

So can you do it? Can you take the plunge and live your life making your own entertainment instead of living someone else's?

Yes you can!

How to beat busy-ness

I tried to convince myself I was starting this blog to help others that were struggling with weight loss, you know the altruistic "I want to help others" motivation, but in reality I hoped it would help me to continue to succeed. I created it in August and here it is December and I haven't added to it. I've been too busy I realize. This leads to today's topic - how to beat busy-ness.

It's easy to walk away from weight loss success just because you don't want to continue. You feel deprived, frustrated, like you will never succeed...but the more dangerous enemy to success these days is distraction. We are so busy that we can't find the time to monitor our food intake, we can't find the time to exercise, we can't find the time to make healthy choices. We have our schedule so full that we are grabbing processed food from the freezer, heating it in the microwave and eating it by the sink. It's not that you don't want to make the right choices. It's just that you're so busy you don't have the time. At some point you have to decide that you are more important than all the projects that vie for your time. You have to realize that if you don't take care of yourself you will not be around to do all those projects. So easy to say, but how do you accomplish it?

The easiest way that I've found to beat busy-ness is to have good habits in place that make the right choices automatic. Start small by setting aside a few quiet minutes one day to decide what's the most important to you. Is it exercise? Is it monitoring food intake by writing it down? Is it tracking weight loss on a graph? Exercise is probably the best place to start since it impacts success more than any other thing you might do. You say you don't have time to exercise? The easiest way to start a good exercise habit is to decide that you will park at the farthest parking place available at each errand you run. If you are as busy as I am, then you will end up walking several miles each week just from this one decision. It's an easy habit to develop since there are very seldom parking places near the stores. Give it at least 30 days before you tackle another area. It takes 30 days to establish a new habit. Pretty soon you'll find the choice becomes automatic and you're choosing it even if you are incredibly busy.

One other thing to mention about busy-ness. Busy-ness can be a way that we hide from ourselves, that we keep from dealing with the decisions we know we should make. It's easy to say, "I'm too busy right now", to use it as an excuse not to develop these good habits. Can you be honest with yourself? It's the hardest part of our journey to success, but remember - you can do it!

The Beginning

I've wanted for some time to begin a dialogue on the trials and successes of the weight loss and maintenance journey but just never seemed to have time to do so. Surgery has forced me to sit still for a few weeks and it's given me time to do some of the thinking that I've put off, so here we go.

I've titled this blog "Yes you can" because so many of the attempts to lose and/or maintain weight are doomed to failure before they ever begin by the proclivity for negativity. "I can't have that", or "I can't go in that restaurant", or "I'll never do this", or "I'll never get back into that dress", or "I always fail every time I try". This blog is about what you can do, what success you can attain with the help of some supportive input on your journey. I'm living proof that success is possible, having lost 56 pounds and having kept it off for three and a half years. It's immensely difficult. It's sometimes frustrating. It's always present. But it's also gratifying, in a way that nothing else is, to look back and see some small step of success, some measure of accomplishment for which you are solely responsible.

So what's the first step of success? Your outlook. I learned how to fly a long time ago, and after quite a few hours of dual time with my instructor I was still having a great amount of difficulty in landing. My instructor told me that my outlook was wrong. I was fixating on the numbers at the close end of the runway, diving in a straight line as if they were my goal. I needed instead to keep a view of the total runway environment: the numbers on the close end of the runway, my altitude as related to the runway, other traffic in the landing pattern, weather and wind effects, and the indications on the gages in my aircraft. As soon as I learned to keep the whole picture in my focus I began to do good landings. Losing and maintaining weight is a lot like flying. We can't fixate on the numbers, our goal weight. We have to keep the whole picture in our mind: our goal weight, our current weight, our food types and portion sizes, our family members, our health... When we realize that the journey is a long-term one, a lifestyle change and not a one-step trip to goal weight, we will begin to succeed.

I wanted to quit many times in the months it took me to get my pilot's license. I didn't, and this brings me to the most important part of weight loss and maintenance. Keep at it. Don't quit no matter what. And with that, I leave you with my favorite quote:

"Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go." William Feather